Reflection Pool, 2024
+Polaroid Diary; First Edition
This was the start of an exploration into a fascination of keeping diary made up of personal polaroids, and QR codes that link the artist’s personal photos with streams of content of television clips mixed in with Tik Toks, and the artist’s personal writing fused with musical influences to enhance the story’s experience further. The work is held in consumer made polaroid photo albums to recreate the distant early childhood memories of flipping through family photo albums, and the alluring nostalgia-roma of opening up Pokémon trading card binders at summer camp. This early edition reflects upon the life of a twenty year old creative who has some unpacking to do from youthful tragedies amidst while experiencing a world in pandemic that would soon lead to witnessing ignorance unfold a genocide, and bring rise to a democratic demise. This edition emphasizes a young American midwestern queer’s struggles with human connection, and a desire for fictional escapes amidst a harsh reality unfolding. The work is an abstract physical archive of media that the artist feels reflects the current human condition through the artist’s own subtle narcissistic struggle of coping in constant chaos.
This work was first introduced as a symbiotic relationship with the Reflection Pool piece in which the artist collaborated with friend, and colleague Jazzy Okami to create an installed experience to take the viewer to a moment of cinematic peace. Okami aided in the artist’s vision by creating animated scenes inspired by the likes of Studio Ghibli, early Pokémon, and Sailor Moon scattered with references to the artist’s love of Digimon, and a Powerpuff aesthetic. These aesthetics collide with familiar scenes to the artist, as they contain images both fantasized, and tangible such as a midwestern collision of Cbus, and Chitown led to a fusion in the skyline. These video projections are played amongst a small installation to stimulate a nostalgia-pop aesthetic replacement of a summer mid-westestern backyard experience. These two works co-exist with each other, because together the two offer the viewer a place of storytelling, historical references, and a brief break to submerge themselves in a new reality.
Don’t Lose Sight of Hope
This work was inspired by the grim nature of the 2020s, and coming into adulthood in a reality where a future feels highly unlikely, and that same reality where we are watching an active genocide take place in Palestine while also learning of the 75 year old occupation, and the various other active genocides going on in the world. This piece was motivated to remind us that hope may be hard to have, and it’s easy to lose sight of it, but it’s the most important thing we need to make this reality better. The piece features a shooting star in a heart shaped sky, because when you look up to the sky, and see a shooting star you make a wish, a wish for something to improve your life. The work also features a hidden quote from the English translation of AKB48’s song Shoujotachi Yo; “today’s tears are tomorrow’s strength”. Those simple words are just a hopeful affirmation to be repeated whenever days are grim, and there’s a need for a moment of relief from the pains of the time.
Photos by McKenzie Fitz.
Transformation, 2023
Growing as a person is often a subtle, and unconscious process, but it is essential to the human experience. we see our physical transformations as we age, and we can recognize big mental/emotional changes, but often only the major ones. We don’t realize that every second of everyday we’re a new person, and that we’re constantly changing — though it often goes unnoticed as it’s a slow process that takes more than one night. Growing is not easy, and it often takes a lot of practice mixed with patience, but I’ve found it’s better to just embrace it. It’ll happen whether you want it to or not; it’s the biggest part of being alive.
This piece was inspired by the concept of growing outside one’s comfort zone, and unlike the rest of my thesis work: this work has gone through so many iterations that it is far from the original concept (minus the fuzzy heart). With this piece I decided to push myself to change up the methods in which I create, and the choices I typically make with my work. It was all about taking risks, and trying new things in order to foster a process of growth, and transformation.
soft sculpture fabricated by Selena Dornfeld.
Space for the Inner Child
This work was inspired by learning the importance of maintaining a healthy relationship with the inner child, especially a wounded inner child. The inner child when not taken car of properly will find its way out through whatever means necessary (my out of control doll collection is proof of that), and often times will act out. In order to maintain healthy boundaries you have to create space for it, and hold value for that child who is inside of you. The resin acts as a preservative to preserve this relationship, while the pedestal acts as a sign of the importance of it, the stars, and iconography added act as the expression of the inner child while the neon shows the strength of this bond, and how it can extend beyond its form to impact its surroundings.
Validation
This work was inspired by trying to understand what Validation meant, and exploring the realms of such a thing. My understandings of the concept stemmed from encounters with it on social media where it seemed to mean the same thing as vanity, a negative. It was something I struggled to understand, accept, and desire because of this notion, but when talking to my psychiatrist about it, she explained to me that Validation can be a positive thing like when your feelings are validated. I still grasp to understand fully the ramifications of Validation, because I don’t know what to think of it now; hence why it takes on this saturen-esque appearance to its physical form. The work was also designed this way to play with ideas of External, and internal validation: the mirror painted off to only allow a small section to be visible, but that section is then blocked off by the neon thus making the viewer have to angle themselves in order to properly see themselves reflected in the mirror. When they find that angle they are rewarded with ‘slay’ which is a popular slang term amongst the gen z youth, and queers that originated from AAVE (African American Vernacular English) that is essentially the most validating word there is. It’s use of the word refers to someone who has done exceptionally well or impressed others, so slay.
Good Enough, 2022
This piece comes from recognizing my low self esteem, and all the years I spent telling myself I wasn’t good enough, and confronting this desire for everything I do to be perfect.
Growing up I had an absent father, and a mother with serious untreated mental health issues who’s mood was nowhere near stable. Growing up around a mother who was either extremely withdrawn or yelling about how useless and or stupid I was, mixed with the abandonment issues from my father leaving is what caused this need to be perfect, and my low self esteem. I fear mistakes because they feel like the end of the world for me. I know they’re not, but that’s how they consume my being. As an adult I struggle with seeing the good in me, and find it hard to love myself which has made forming relationships a lot harder than they need to be. That’s the anxious avoidant attachment style for you lol.
I’m still working on myself, but I know I deserve to give myself more compassion, and stop beating myself up over the mistakes.
I went with a heart with wings surrounded by clouds, because heaven/heavenly imagery fits this association of perfection. It’s this need to be perfect, but perfection truly doesn’t exist-- it’s really more of a mere concept. This piece is about letting go of all that, and allowing whatever happens to happen.
An Emotional F**k You (2022 version)
This work was brought on by a few relationship in which emotions weren’t taken seriously, and seen as a negative. this work is saying screw that notion, and acknowledging that feeling your feeling is an empowering experience. They keep your humanity intact, and give your life a bit of color.
